Baby King
by CrAcKeRs oN CrAcK
Summary: With the Demon King's most recent defeat, he has been vanquished. However he has made his triumphant return...as a toddler with no memory of who he was. Ghirahim and Zant are now tasked with keeping a low profile as they raise their young master until he hopefully regains his memories and can wreak havok upon the world once more. A series of oneshots.
1. Bully

**Bully**

Zant stood near the door to the closet in the hallway, a black and red napsack in his hand as he knocked on the door softly, hoping to coax the stubborn five year old Gerudo boy into leaving the closet.

"Come now my liege," the Twili crooned softly, " we will be late for school if we do not leave right now. I know that you are very particular about tardiness, my lord."

"No!" A muffled shout resounded from within the confines of the musty thing, "I don't ever wanna go to school! Never ever EVER!"

Zant frowned in contemplation as he pondered as to whether his Master was serious or not when Ghirahim appeared in the hallway.

"What are you still doing here? Aren't you already late?" Ghirahim demanded as he crossed his arms.

"Master refuses to leave the closet," Zant lamented, "and I don't know what to do! Do I listen to him? Do I try to COAX HIM !? AM I INVITING HIS GODLY WRATH UPON MYSELF!?"

Ghirahim rolled his eyes as he watched Zant's hysterical antics almost get out of hand.

"ZANT! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" Zant jumped in place as he instinctively held up the napsack upon hearing the sword spirit yell at him. Sighing, Ghirahim walked past the Twili and approached the closet door.

"Now my liege," Ghirahim said softly, "normally you do not complain about going to school. Did something happen?"

Silence met his ears for a couple of seconds before he heard the rustling of coats and other objects moving around. With a click, the closet door opened a mite, revealing a single amber eye looking at the Demon Lord.

"There's a bully," he whispered as if he were revealing his greatest secret, "and he's always picking on me."

Ghirahim blinked as he wondered why the Demon King would allow someone to bully him. However, Zant's reaction was quite different. The Twili's pupils literally shrunk as a furious look crossed his face.

"How dare someone attempt to torment my Master! He shall be dealt with in a most swift and timely manner! Lead the way my liege!"

With that, Zant marched out the door with the napsack in hand, his eyes full of purpose. Grinning, the little Demon King darted out of the closet to follow Zant's lead. Ghirahim stared after them for short moment before shaking his head and deciding to tag along. The last thing he needed was for the insane Twili to blow their cover over some kid.

Upon reaching the school, Zant and Ghirahim scanned the playground while Ganondorf hid behind the Twili's legs, his head poking out just enough to look for the bully. It was not long before a small finger was pointing, the Gerudo boy nearly jumping in anticipation as he found his query.

"There he is! That's the mean bully! Get 'im Zant, get 'im!" Both the Twili's and the sword spirit's eyes followed the direction in which Ganondorf was pointing. It was a boy that looked to be around their Master's….current age. Blue eyes, blond hair, very pointed ears, green shirt and matching hat, mark of the Triforce on his hand….

Mark of the Triforce on his hand !?

"IT'S LINK!?" They both shouted at the same time. They both looked at each other frantically as thoughts raced through their minds. This was the perfect chance to eliminate a potential threat to their Master's ultimate plans. Yet, at the same time, failure could expose them for who they were and ultimately crush all their efforts to mere dust.

Their thoughts were interrupted by a small shove at Zant's legs, courtesy of the miniature Demon King.

"Come ooooooonnnn, the bell is gonna ring soon!" the young Gerudo whined. Looking at each other, Ghirahim shrugged as he moved towards the little brat, Zant following close behind with his Master clinging to his leg. Might as well solve the current issue before dealing with the larger problems.

"So, uh, kid." Ghirahim began as he stood near Link. The boy turned around, looking at his face innocently.

"Yes sir?"

Ghirahim cleared his throat still in shock that the hero was literally within hand's reach, and yet unable to be annihilated at the current moment. Zant decided to answer in the Demon Lord's stead.

"Why are you bullying our Master?", the Twili demanded, "That is very rude and unbecoming of a hero like you!" The boy blinked in surprise.

"But I never-"

"Is something the matter here Link?"

The Twili and sword spirit both turned to face a very large and portly man who had a face that vaguely reminded them of an owl. He walked slowly until he stood next to Link, peering down at the three villains standing before him.

"I am Gaebora, Link's uncle and guardian. " The big man spoke in a very deep voice, "Has Link done something that I should know of?" Zant and Ghirahim just stared at the man, both in awe of his size and strange look until the little Demon King reappeared from behind Zant's legs, tears forming in his golden eyes.

"Link always bullies me! He steals my lunch money, and pushes me, and says I have no friends!" The Gerudo boy whined in an innocent, heart-breaking voice. Gaebora's eyes scrunched in anger as he turned to the blond boy.

"Link…..being at the top of the class and having many friends does not mean you can go around bullying other kids." The blond boy threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"But I-" the blond boy yelped as Gaebora grabbed his ear, and began leading him away.

"You made that innocent little boy cry Link," the portly man began to lecture, "and you will come with me until you learn to stop making excuses and apologize when you are in the wrong." Ghirahim and Zant watched as they both walked away, the future hero wincing and complaining as his uncle kept a firm grip on his ear. They both stood their for a moment, until a sudden thought came to Ghirahim's mind.

"Zant…..you always pack the Master's lunch. We never gave him lunch money," the sword spirit remarked.

A snicker was heard as both the Twili and the sword spirit looked down to the little Demon King. He still clung onto Zant's leg as he watched Link being led away, an evil smile plastered on his face.

"Yes! I got that little goodie two-shoes good! Now I'll be at the top of the class!"

Henceforth, it was on that faithful day, on the playground by the school, that the Demon King claimed his first victory against the hero.


	2. Monsters Under the Bed

**Monsters Under the Bed**

"Zaaaaaant! Zaaaaaaant! Hurry!" the young toddler whined from his room. Zant, the ever-obedient servant, made a hop and a skip as he made his way up the stairs of the small cottage they had managed to secure. Ghirahim rolled his eyes as groaned, his head resting on his hand as he sat near their small kitchen table.

"Zant, do not tell me that you are going to check for monsters under his bed _again_ **.** " Zant twirled around on his foot, his enthusiasm a little overwhelming at being able to serve his master, even though he was a toddler **.**

"The Master wills that I chase away any being that dares to harm him, and so I shall obey!" Zant chanted, making a gesture that was reminiscent of a salute. Gritting his teeth, Ghirahim stood up, his hands slamming down on the table.

"Are you kidding me? Those monsters are imaginary you fool! We cannot allow him to believe in stupid fairy tales!"

"But the Master-" Zant started.

Ghirahim narrowed his eyes, his glare silencing the Twili. "Do you _think_ that Master will be amused when he regains his memories, and finds out that we allowed him to act so foolishly and entertain such measly fears?" Zant found himself staring at the ground as he fiddled with his excessively long sleeves.

"I suppose not…" the Twili mumbled.

The sword spirit sighed as he pushed Zant to side, making his way up the stairs to the Demon King's bedroom.

"Let me handle this, and save _both_ our hides in the damn process."

Opening the door, the Demon Lord found his little Master hiding under his bed cover, the only thing visible to him being a tuft of red hair and two golden irises peering at him.

"Where's Zant?" Ganondorf demanded in his youthful voice. Ghirahim sighed as he ran his hand through his bangs.

"He's not coming today, my liege. You do not need him to check under your bed for something that is not there," the Demon Lord said in a firm voice.

Still under the bed cover, the tiny Demon King stared at Ghirahim for a long while. Ghirahim was about to turn around and leave before his Master decided to speak.

"They are real! I hear them all the time! You're just lying to me!" the young boy exclaimed angrily as he pointed a small finger at him in accusation. The sword spirit had to stop himself from grinding his teeth into dental dust. He had never been meant to look after children.

"I am certain, my lord, that those sounds are from your overreactive imagination. Besides," Ghirahim approached the bed, bending down until he was face-to-face with his young Master, staring directly into his eyes, "you are the Demon King. That means that you can boss those monsters around. They would be too scared to attack you, ok?" Saying that, the sword spirit patted the boy's head to reassure him, before turning around to leave.

"But…." Ganondorf began in a small voice. The sword spirited exhaled loudly in exasperation.

"But what !?"

Quivering excessively, clearly pretending, the little Demon King continued in an ominous voice, which actually sounded quite adorable in reality.

"The monster under my bed today is a special monster that…. **EATS** Demon Kings! And….you're the only one who can stop him Ghirahim!"

Ghirahim's jaw dropped, leaving him gaping like an idiotic fish.

From that day forward, Zant and Ghirahim _both_ had to check under the bed for monsters. The Twili was tasked with taking care of the "regular" monsters while the Demon Lord had to bravely ward off the "Demon King devourer".


	3. When I Grow Up

**When I Grow Up...**

Ghirahim sighed when his young Master handed him a note from his teacher, requesting to meet one of the guardians of the Gerudo boy. As a result, he found himself sitting in a classroom, legs crossed as he observed his fingernails while the little terror that was the King of Evil fidgeted in the seat next to him. The classroom, full of bright colors and cheer, made the Demon Lord feel as if he were pressed on all sides by children. One child was more than enough, and the sooner he was out of here, the better.

"So, you are Mr. Ghirahim, Ganondorf's guardian, am I correct?" A young woman's voice snapped the sword spirit out of his thoughts as he nearly flinched at how she used the Demon King's name so casually. Looking up, Ghirahim watched as the woman, dressed in a long skirt and wearing reading glasses, sat down behind her desk, facing the two villains. Clasping her hands, she peered at both of them through her glasses making her seem quite stern.

"I am glad you could make it today sir, as I have some….concerns regarding some things Ganondorf has been saying lately." The Demon Lord felt his eye twitch as she allowed his name to pass her lips once more without a care. Composing himself, Ghirahim ran his lithe fingers through his hair as he looked at her.

"Yes yes, I am aware. Now what has he been up to?" Clearing her throat, the young woman looked at the red-headed boy who did not seem to care much.

"Well….the other day the class shared what they wanted to be when they grew up. Ganondorf here," the boy perked up at the mention of his name, "insisted that he was the Demon King." Ghirahim mentally face palmed as he felt a headache coming on.

"Oh that!" Ghirahim laughed nervously, "Well, he does have a very overreactive imagination-"

"I do not!" The little Demon King exclaimed, "You and Zant always told me it was my destiny!" Ghirahim ground his teeth; why did children lack so much in terms of common sense?

"Yes about that," the young Gerudo's teacher continued as she laid her hands across her lap, "he did insist it was his destiny. He also threatened to send a dodongo to eat his classmate Link since, according to you, he was the *hero* that would *defeat* him."

If there were a wall in front of the sword spirit right now, he would have probably bashed his skull right through it. Sitting up straight, looking as relaxed as he possibly could, he shot his Master a withering stare, begging him silently to keep SHUT as he cleared his throat.

"As I mentioned before miss, he tends to play many imaginary games and imagine grand things for himself. I assure you madam that I will sort that out with my Master shortly." The teacher cocked up an eyebrow as she heard the Demon Lord's little mishap in reference to the little boy. He tried to manage what he hoped was a kind smile as he covered his mouth.

"Oh dear, it seems like I also tend to forget we are not playing Demons and Heroes heh heh heh…" He was glad to see the young woman drop the matter quite quickly.

With a curt nod, and short goodbyes, the sword spirit left with his Master in tow.

"Why can't I tell people I'm the Demon King?" the young boy huffed as they walked towards their home. "What's the point of being a king if no one even knows I'm a king?" Sighing, Ghirahim stopped in his tracks, turning around to kneel down to his little Master's level. His lithe hand gently lifted the Gerudo boy's chin so that they were staring at each other, eye to eye.

"You're right, my liege, it is hard to hide such a glorious fact. However, you are still very young, and if the wrong people find out who you truly are, you could be in grave danger." Letting go of Ganondorf's chin, the Demon Lord grasped the Gerudo's hand as he stood up.

"Do not worry, my lord. Soon you will be great and mighty, and everyone will tremble in fear at the mention of your name!" The little Demon King looked up at his guardian, clearly not impressed, before sighing.

"Fiiiiiiiine…." Ganondorf grumbled, "I'll tell everyone I wanna be something else." With a satisfactory smile, the Demon Lord and his Master continued on their way.

Ghirahim did not expect, however, that a few days later he would find himself AGAIN in the same classroom with a very cross teacher and what seemed to be a security guard at her behest. He stared nervously at his Master who sat in his chair as nonchalant as the first time they had been there, looking very bored.

"Uh….did something happen?" the Demon Lord managed to ask. He was taken aback as the young woman glared at him, perhaps hoping to slay him with the power of her stare.

"Something happened? Oh yes, something did indeed _happen_." She took a moment to cast a worried glance towards the Gerudo boy.

"Apparently," she continued as she cleared her throat, "he does not want to be a Demon King anymore. Mr. Ghirahim, do you know what he wishes to be now?"

Despite all the trials the Demon Lord had withstood during his very long lifetime, he found himself shrinking further and further into his chair as the infernal wrath of the educator's stare bore holes into his very soul. He shook his head, having no idea which "career" choice his Master ultimately made.

"He said he was going to be a male stripper, courtesy of some certain _magazines_ he found lying around at home." Ghirahim;s jaw hung open dumbly as he slowly turned his head towards the young Demon King. He had his stash hidden very well! How did he manage to find it !? As his fumbled with his thoughts wondering how he could have missed something so crucial, he swore he could see a small smirk form on the Gerudo's youthful face.

"Ah miss, he is quite young. I highly doubt he knows what a stripper even is…" the sword spirit began nervously. He nearly jumped out of his seat as the young woman stood up suddenly, slamming her hands onto the desk in front of her as she stared at him very, very intently.

"Oh no sir, he clearly knew what a stripper was when he so kindly decided to _demonstrate_ to his fellow classmates…" she seethed.

"But miss," Ganondorf perked up, "Ghirahim said that you could make a lot of money just by taking off your clothes instead of being a Demon King that destroys lots of stuff! That sounds waaaaaaay easier!"

Ghirahim gulped as the woman made a hand motion towards the security guard. He had said that to **Zant** when his young Master was supposed to be _asleep_ as a joke for Demise's sake! The guard cracked his knuckles as he an evil grin crossed his rugged features.

A couple of months, hundreds of child safety inspections, dozens of court hearings, and countless parental fitness assessments later, Ghirahim decided that his Master could be whatever he damn well wanted. He certainly knew how to defend himself and his title without anyone's aid.


End file.
